Lessons from Living Abroad

Over one year ago I wrote this post about how moving abroad changed my life. It’s now been over a year and a half since I first sold all of my things and moved across the pond to Prague. So much has changed since then–my boyfriend became my fiancé, then husband…after a year in Prague, we moved to Budapest while spending six weeks in Central America in-between…I’ve found a new passion in teaching…and so much more! So what have I learned in these months? Read on for my pearls of wisdom and real-talk about what I’ve learned by moving far from home to a new country.

I’ve learned confidence

I’ve always heard the “fake it ’til you make it” axiom but never has it felt more true than while moving overseas and beginning a teaching career. Both in my life and in my teaching, I often have no clue what I’m doing. (I’m sure my students rejoice at hearing this). I’ve learned the value of doing it anyway–and the more I’ve done that, the more I’ve grown confident that I can do something, even if I’m stumbling my way through half of the time.

I’ve learned how to spend nearly 24/7 with one person

Correct me if I’m wrong, but most couples rarely spend 24 hours a day, 7 days week with their significant other. Of course, depending on where we are and our work schedules, we haven’t always been spending every second together–but often it feels that way, especially while establishing ourselves in a new place. I adore E and we have the best time together, but we both need our alone time. Learning our boundaries has been huge for our travels. I’ve learned that E gets “thangry” (thirsty-angry) and he has learned that when I get really irritable, it means I need be alone.

I’ve learned you really can’t run away

Looking back on my life, I’ve spent many years plagued with anxiety, depression, and self-doubt. All of these issues surrounding myself, my abilities, my relationship with my family and friends, my mental health…they haven’t gone away. I credit travel and moving to a new country with helping me find much better coping mechanisms, but these are things I continue to struggle with.

I’ve learned that missing big events never gets easier

This is a struggle every expat/immigrant goes through–missing big events. I don’t regret my choice of moving, but every time something big happens and I miss it–a graduation, a wedding, a funeral, every holiday–I always doubt my decision and forget why I’m doing this. Going back when I can, FaceTiming often, staying in touch–these help.

I’ve learned that living far away will bring distance, inevitably, to relationships back home

Distance is distance, no matter how you shake it. You won’t be there for the every day moments that make up a person’s life, and you will have severe FOMO (fear of missing out) for these moments in your most beloved people’s lives. As you grow and change and have your own new experiences, it is natural for distance to become greater in most of your relationships. The best ones will continue on anyway (see photo below!), but some relationships will suffer or even fade away.

I’ve learned how to live with less

E and I now are down to two bags each (and a printer…but that is just special for Hungary!). I struggle to let things go–what if I need it or want it or may someday need it or want it?–but once I do, I mostly forget about them and feel so much lighter. I miss some things–such as a working oven and a bathtub–but many of things I surrounded myself with weren’t required for my happiness. Although I miss having a different coat for every weather possibility.

I’ve learned that traveling is not everything

Wait…what?! Hold the phone! This travel blogger is saying travel isn’t everything?! I know. I’ll elaborate. Travel has, for many years, been my main goal and passion. I’ve worked hard to make this dream of mine happen. I don’t think this will ever truly change–but I’m also learning I want more. Sure, I want to keep traveling–and the more I see, the more I want to see–but I also want a strong relationship with my husband. I want a tight circle of family and friends I can count on. I want a career/job that gives me joy. I want to find a way to give back. Traveling is a worthy goal–don’t tell me otherwise or I’ll cry and ask what I’ve been doing for the last 10+ years of my life–but it’s not my only goal anymore.

I’ve learned about priorities

It’s true that there is just never enough time in your day for everything you want to do–you will always have to make choices. The things that are the  most important to you, though, will find a way into your life every day. Or nearly every day.

I’ve learned more about my home country

Nothing like some distance to give you perspective! In some ways, it helps me realize that every country has their problems–and most also have their strengths. Living in various countries/cities in Europe that have weathered everything from Communism to horrible leaders to various world wars gives me hope that America will figure stuff out, too. With distance, though, the flaws in the States seem even more glaringly obvious…like the maternity leave. C’mon, USA! That’s just sad!

I’ve learned how to adapt…and learned that humans are in general pretty adaptable

Being on the go a lot, at a budget, means that E and I have stayed in a variety of conditions. I’ve had different jobs that have been different levels of stressful, I’ve learned to be surrounded by a language that is not my native, I’ve learned to navigate many different airports and trains, I’ve learned to live with different levels of comfort. No matter how bad it seems at first, you will get used to things! Not to say you should settle, just saying…give it time.

I’ve learned how much I have

Before moving overseas, I felt so poor. It’s ridiculous–I had a nice apartment, a supportive family, could afford to get a graduate degree, and so on. Yet, compared to many, I had a crappy car, a wardrobe filled with cheap Target clothes, and a small one-bedroom apartment. Now, I live in a studio, am making what would be well below poverty level in America, don’t have a car, and have about ten shirts in my possession. Yet, here, I am still considered rich–my coworker commented just the other day on how many clothes I own. The amount of wealth in America, even in the middle class, is quite immense. I feel so grateful for the lottery I won–both by getting an education and by being born in a country where I can get a passport that can get me anywhere: two things no one can ever take away from me.

What have you learned from a big move? 

PSSST…check out my guest post this week on Big World, Small Me–1o Things to Do in Bruges, Belgium!

Linking up with Travel Tuesday.