I don’t about all of you, but I have this little problem with expectations. No matter how many places I go, no matter how many times I try to let go of any and all expectations of a place, I still can’t help but have preconceived notions of somewhere.
Especially those famous places that you hear about all of your life–how can you not have expectations of those?
Really, they’re dangerous, and I enjoy places much more when I have fewer expectations.
I’m working on it.
Moving to Prague was no different expectation-wise, although I’d never been here, so I think that helped. I heard that Prague is the most beautiful city in Europe, and most of the time I can’t help but agree. But when you live in a city–even one reputed to be as beautiful as Prague–you don’t just get the fairy-tale glimpses. You get the real, nitty-gritty glimpses of life here.
When I say nitty-gritty, keep in mind that I work at a private English school and live three blocks away from a mall.
Before moving to Prague, I expected…
…to find more comforts of home. Not just mac’n’cheese, but things like turkey meatballs, Febreeze, and spur-of-the-moment seasonal decorations are just not as readily available or as affordable as I figured.
…to only have one job. I do have a post on this almost ready to publish, but unless you score a full-time position, most English teachers bounce around between companies, schools, and private lessons. In addition, the visa I have is a freelance-type visa, which means I need to be able to show more than one place of employment on my taxes.
…to make friends quickly because, despite all of the warnings, I generally have always been able to do this. However, I was not anticipating the language barrier and the sheer work it would be to make friends. Oof. (This is an example of an expectation I really should have had because people kept telling me to have it, but I didn’t listen).
…to find a beautiful, clean city every day. Prague is certainly beautiful, but it’s also old. Unless someone is taking care of old things, they will get dirty and fall apart. Prague is still a city and that means there’s trash, and areas that are dirty, and overflowing trash bins, and the all-too-often eau de sewer. Also, graffiti is huge in Prague (and maybe all of Europe?). Mostly I find it amusing (and sometimes it’s pretty, too) because I don’t understand the urge to tag anything–especially with something like “BAT KISS” or “TWO RETARDS OF PRAGUE.” I admit though, when our beautiful flat building was tagged with something that looks alarmingly close to “Hitler,” well, I was sad. Why!
…to not have a bathtub. Thankfully I DOOOOOOO. It’s the little things, people!
…to be able to travel quickly, cheaply, and easily through Europe at the drop of a hat. Not saying this is impossible, but is usually takes foresight and research to get the really good deals. Also, there are cool websites for flights (like Skyscanner, my favorite!)–but bus and train websites are still often in the local language and therefore more difficult to navigate.
but lets be real, it wasn’t that hard to get here.
…to have every Friday off and to be away every weekend. Yeah…not so much. I don’t have a 9-5 job which I’m very thankful for, so I have random pockets of time between lessons (plus Friday afternoons! woo!). I read somewhere that someone who taught here only had a four-day week and for some reason I applied to this everyone moving here.
…to have a much less stressful lifestyle. While I wouldn’t say that I am as stressed out as I was back in Denver–I’m not in grad school, which is one of the most stressful things I’ve ever done, so that’s certainly an improvement–it is not the 10-hours-a-week and endless, relaxing travel that I was picturing. Part of it is that adjusting to a new country and culture in itself can be a stressful experience. Part of it is my fault–I haven’t been saying no to any jobs that come my way–but the Czechs are also go-getters. I can’t believe how many people are dying to improve their English! I officially had to turn down a request for the first time today because I just can’t squeeze any more in.
…to pick up the language quickly. I’m sure you’re thinking I’m very naive at this point (I have traveled and know my limits when it comes to learning a new language…usually) but my Czech is not improving. BUT that will change soon, hopefully, as I will start official Czech lessons in two weeks!
I didn’t expect…
…to find Prague a very livable city.
…to begin to love teaching and my myriad of students.
…to (mostly) quickly understand the transportation system.
…to discover so many awesome new snacks.
…to have a view of a park outside of my window.
…to randomly walk into a protest against the Czech president.
…to find so many amazing pockets of the city.
…to explore so many little gems of the Czech Republic.
like the incomparable Český Krumlov.
…to play find-the-castle on my way to work almost every day.
And most of all…
…I really didn’t expect to begin a love affair with Praha.
Do you ever struggle with expectations?
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Today I am very happy to be co-hosting a new Friday link-up with the lovely Yalanda!
Welcome to BYOP! A bring your own type of event, Bring Your Own Post to be exact! Join us every Friday for an uncategorized link up.
I felt the same way for sure!! The one I struggled with the most was making friends…..and it’s been so easy everywhere else! But I finally made some really great ones….it just takes time,and your right about the effort part! Beautiful post! Brings back first month memories for myself and how it just took time 🙂
Yes! Time is so important but I get impatient :). I didn’t think the friends thing would bother me, because I figured I’d be busy and traveling so I wouldn’t care, but I miss having a group of lady friends! Just gotta put in the effort, though, and it will be worth it 🙂 thanks for sharing your experience!
Love this post. That’s interesting that you have a freelance-type visa! That sound so crazy. I also had crazy expectations about China. I was thinking it would be more like Korea – there are certain cultural similarities, but the lifestyle is so different. I had far more culture shock moments living in China than I did during my first year abroad in Korea, and it was weird.
Thanks! apparently unless you are sponsored for a visa from your job the freelance visa is now the standard one for immigrants.
I really relate to what you say about China, too. I’d been to Southeast Asia and I (naively) thought it would be about the same. But I think it’s the most extreme culture shock I’ve ever been through, although I’m not sure why. Expectations I guess…damn them 😉
Oh I love this! You can’t help but have expectations before you move abroad. I remember H telling me he was worried I didn’t realize how hard the transition would be and he was right, I thought it would be no problem! I most definitely was wrong. I am very jealous of your bathtub btw!
Oh I love your comment! Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s impossible not to have some expectations, really! I can imagine being in your shoes, too, and thinking that moving in with a native would make it much easier. I assumed that having E with me would make it easier, too. And while that has helped (and has made it more fun!) there are still so many challenges.
I’m so psyched to have a bathtub, haha! That MIGHT have been the number one reason I voted for this apartment :).
Every Friday off! That sounds pretty great 🙂 I love the fact that you’re able to get a freelance visa. The closest visa England has to that is the “entrepreneur visa” but you need to hold almost £ 1/5 million to apply. (Money that you’d be investing into your business in the UK) x
Wow that’s so much money! You need quite a bit in your bank account (or really, a letter from your bank that’s good for six months, so we transferred the money in) but not nearly that much! I was surprised by this rule–I guess they are concerned you’ll be a drain on the system, or something. The freelance visa is nice, though–it opens things up for sure! thanks for reading 🙂 xo
Totally, what you can find here is much different than back home so it takes awhile for that to sink & and to adapt. I was really surprised that the shopping here really isn’t that good/too expensive. & I feel ya on the busy thing. When you’re a freelancer, it’s so hard to turn down more opportunities to get paid. I am to the point just as of this week where I really have to start saying no with no exceptions! It’s been interesting to find a balance between working and actually enjoying your week days.
Also, if you were in a gang called Bat Kiss you would probably want to share it to the woooorld!
hahaha SO true, I suppose if my gang had such an awesome name I wouldn’t be able to help myself from scrawling it on every spare surface ;). I just rode on a tram where it was covered with “bat kiss”–walls and ceilings! I can’t help but wondering when that happened because I am never on an empty tram, lol! Do they hijack them in the middle of the night??
I was surprised by the shopping, too. It’s pricier than I thought it would be!
I hope you are getting through your weeks okay with your crazy schedule–I just wrote you a response all about this, but that balance is really hard to find!
Okay, this is a great post! Expectations vs. reality….I’d have to say one expectation I had was that I would have more time. To breathe, live my life outside of work, travel! I work 9-7:35 MWF and 9-6:50 TTh. It makes weekend travel pretty difficult unless it’s within an hour or two away! Sometimes I’m so beat from the week I don’t even want to do anything on the weekend!
Thanks! Expectations and reality are such a hard thing to reconcile! Your schedule sounds really insane–if I were you, it would be really hard to do anything on the weekends! Mine is not nearly as regular but every day is crazy in it’s own way. I sometimes want to do nothing on the weekends (well, almost always haha) but I feel guilty since I want to fully live it up in Prague! It sounds like you can relate, though! Definitely not something I thought I would have to deal with.
I don’t think I had too many expectations before moving to Belgium, but it definitely took me by surprise. I think, you sometimes think the place is just like it was when you visit for a weekend or a week. But when you really live somewhere, you see so much more than just a weekend away. All the nice quirks and the not so nice quirks. You become more immersed in the people, the culture and everything.
We thought we’d be able to adventure more when we got here, but with only me having a job we simply couldn’t afford to. Now we both have jobs we do get out and about more, but we tend to stay local because you can’t be jet setting off each weekend to another country. But, we hope to have a few more long weekends next year 🙂
So true! Just visiting can give you a very different view of what a place is like rather than MOVING there. I think that’s very hard to know that though, because you really can’t erase that impression until you do, in fact, move there!
I think the traveling thing was a big adjustment for me, too–one of the biggest. I thought I would be able to travel every weekend but there just isn’t time or money!! I’m glad you may be able to take more trips soon, though 🙂
I try not to have too many expectations when I visit somewhere new and so far it’s working for me 🙂 despite the hardships and challenges of moving to Prague, it’s lovely to hear about all the great and beautiful things you are discovering! X
I really need to work on the expectations thing! I think it helps when I go to places that I haven’t been dreaming of seeing for years, honestly, because then I am pleasantly surprised.
Thanks for reading! I was worried this post was too negative because I really am loving it here–but I want to be real, too 🙂
Well said!! The dog poo use to get so bad in our area. I would get so mad, it was disgusting!! The graffiti too, I don’t understand it! We spoke some Russian when we arrived in Prague and I found it easier than Czech! Czech has so many more exceptions. Good luck! 😉 Czechs are lovely people, but it took a long time to really get to know them. To be included in their inner circle. I hope you find some of those friendships because now, even though I’ve moved away I still keep in touch with several of them. I’m so thankful for that!! 🙂
Yes I hate the dog poo! What is that?? I always feel a little stressed at night that I’m going to step in some! Yuck yuck yuck. Which area did you guys live in? I hear it’s the worst near Letna park.
I also don’t get the graffiti. How could you ever do that to these beautiful buildings??
I love that you still keep in touch with your good Czech friends. I think I am slowly building relationships but you’re right, it’s hard! I’ve stopped staying I am only for sure here until July, just that I’m here indefinitely, and that seems to have helped. I hope I make good friends like you did!
I know, the poo is terrible!! 😉 We lived in several different places. Vinohrady near Jizoho z Podebrad, Krc and Zizkov, on the boarder of Vinohrady. We spent much time at Flora mall! lol!
I can imagine that if they hear you are there a short time it makes a difference. Is your plan only to be there until July or do you hope to be there longer?
Oooh I haven’t spent much time over there but Vinohrady especially seems to be bad! More dogs, perhaps? who knows ;). I would love to stay longer but it depends on financial stuff and where we want to go with our careers. I’m thinking it will be too hard to leave so soon, though!
Haha, to me, having as few expectations as possible makes it almost always a delightful surprise! But, like Kerri said, there is a huge difference between living and visiting the city. Even when it does surprise you in a good way, there is always the expat and moving struggles that we experience.
But it’s awesome that you realized you really enjoyed teaching! Hopefully you get to squeeze in a few more trips soon 🙂
Yes I’m trying to make that a habit, because I love being happily surprised 🙂 You’re really right about visiting vs. moving, it’s a whole different experience. It’s easy to forget that a place you love to visit might not be a place you would love to LIVE! but can you really tell that until you try living there??
and thanks! we are traveling around Christmas which is coming up really soon, so I’m happy about that 🙂
I usually try not to research too much on places I’m going to because I don’t want to have too many expectations of what it will be like. But I think there is a difference between settling down to make a life somewhere, and just visiting a place. I would love to have a chance to settle down as an expat and discover the real nitty-gritties of life there. 😀 I love discovering local hangouts and secret places. I’m glad you’re loving Prague, and best of luck on the Czech lessons and making friends (that’s always hard for me too)!
Thank you! I hope the lessons go well, and well as making friends. Why is it so hard?? It seems hard for everyone!!
Even though the nitty-gritty is sometimes hard for me to deal with, finding the little hidden spots make it totally worth it :). I agree, though, that visiting and moving somewhere is such a different experience! I almost think it’s best to move somewhere without visiting first because those first visits really barely give you a taste of what it will be like.
Girl, I feel ya! As if adjusting to a new country, culture and language weren’t tough enough sometimes, dealing with expectations can be brutal. The first time I lived in Spain I actually hated it because my expectations were unrealistically high, which made for a frustrating and disappointing study abroad experience when I couldn’t come to terms with reality. Coming here a second time, I had pretty low expectations in hopes that I would be pleasantly surprised by what came my way. As much as I prefer to be an optimist in most situations, this “defensive pessimist” approach has really worked for me. Expat bumps in the road strangely don’t seem so bad when you prepare for the absolute worst!
Yes, so true! I hate the idea of going in with low expectations because it feels wrong–shouldn’t I be more hopeful?–but it always seems to help when have lower or at least fewer expectations. Prague is so roller coaster–I came with way to high expectations, and they were met initially, but apartment hunting had me pretty low. Then, fall came to the city, but then the gray skies came…it’s better to realize this is a REAL place and not an actual fairy tale. I’m glad to hear that Spain is working out better for you this time around–you seem to really love it! I’m really interested in how you got a teaching job there, as I might want to head there to teach someday. I’ll go stalk your blog a little to see what I can find ;). thanks for reading! xo
Love, love love this post! I can relate with almost every one of these points- even having a bathtub (which I hardly ever use). But I agree that having expectations can be tricky. I like to research a place before I go to have an idea of where I’m going and what I should be doing, but sometimes that backfires, and I realize I would have had a better time just going with the flow. I guess it’s all about finding a happy balance! So happy to hear you fell in love with Praha! Isn’t it such a great feeling- being truly happy with where you are!
I’m really happy I love it here, too! It’s a rocky relationship sometimes but every time I see that castle I can’t help but smile 🙂
You’re so right about the balance. I have fallen into the trap of over-reasearching and over-planning, but I’ve also not planned enough and missed out on seeing things. A happy medium is where it’s at…although let me know if/when (and how!) you find that happy middle because it’s elusive for me, ha!
Great post Amy! Loved it! I think it’s definitely hard to fight against expectations! But there are always things we don’t expect (good or bad) or things we expected that do come true (or not). I think the best thing about it all is to see the way people react to those! And good luck with your Czech!
Thanks, Camila! You’re right–the most important part about expectations, really, is the reactions to them being met, exceeded, or not met! Reactions to what happens in life are kind of everything…and now I’m gettin’ deep, haha ;).
I really enjoyed reading this — it was refreshing and honest and really displayed that tension that is being an expat. The good and bad… which, no matter how exciting our lives are, still happens. It is hard to not have expectations, but the thing is that you are trying to adjust and it sounds like you are also pointing out the positives too! Glad that even with all the REALNESS, you are falling in love with Prague. 🙂
Thank you, Erika! I’m so happy to have you here :). I was worried this post was a little too negative but I want to be honest, too. It’s a great experience, obviously, but not without it’s challenges! I’m glad you were able to see my attempts at being positive, haha 🙂
I liked how you referenced the tension of being an expat. It’s something I didn’t really understand until I moved abroad!
I recently moved to Germany and can relate to a lot of this. First, I had NO idea that learning German would be so hard and I honestly did not factor in how the language barrier would affect my life. I don’t live in a city; I live in a tiny, tiny town near the Austrian border and I rarely hear english or interact with people who speak english. It was really stressful and isolating in the first couple of months, but it’s got a little better now.
I went to Prague a few months ago, and it is so beautiful but I was also really confused and kind of pissed off that so many of those buildings were covered in graffiti! And it’s not like it’s Banksy or anything that could pass for art; it’s just ugly scrawls on beautiful architecture.
I can’t imagine how challenging that must be for you! I always forget about language barriers for some ridiculous reason and they can be so isolating. I’m glad, for the most part, that I am able to get around Prague with just English. Still, as I’m not just a tourist, I’m missing out on so much since I can’t speak Czech, so I’m happy to be starting lessons soon.
I’m glad that you are feeling less isolated where you are. If it’s on the border of Austria and Germany, I bet it’s gorgeous 🙂
and yes! what is the deal with the graffiti? I’ve seen maybe two that I would call art and the rest of it just UGLY scrawls on these incredible buildings. I keep hoping I find an English-speaking graffiti artist in the act so I can ask “WHY???”
I love that you shared all of the unexpected — the good, the bad, the disappointments, the little things that made you happy to discover. I think that’s all what makes adventures like these so great! Also, bathtubs are amazing. :))
Thanks so much, Carolann! Bathtubs are the best…it’s the little things, right? 😉 (although I think baths help so much with my mental health so maybe not so little!!)