All of these unfortunate situations have happened to me a dear friend so I have it on good authority this is how NOT to travel. Part 1 can be found here.
1. Do NOT overuse the thumbs-up. It’s not always cute. (Okay, maybe not ever).
2. Same goes for that peace sign.
3. When riding in the back of a truck full of buckets of crabs, due to the nice people in Thailand who love to give you rides, do NOT think that balancing your leg over a bucket will not get you pinched. It will.
right before the incident. ouch.
4. Don’t bring flip flops, socks…and no other shoes.
5. Do NOT expect the man next to you with a bowl of noodle soup to drink that up quietly. That just isn’t the way of the world.
6. Do NOT assume the meat you are eating is chicken.
7. Do NOT try haggis for the first time before getting on a night bus. You will vomit. (Also, eating chips and candy right after the haggis and directly before the bus might contribute to this, too).
8. Do NOT expect the same hotel you stayed in five years ago to be the same. It probably has an entirely new name and suddenly feels ten miles away from everything that you thought it was so close to.
9. Do NOT expect your room to have a flushing toilet. If there’s a large bucket full of water with a small bucket inside next to the toilet, that is the flushing mechanism. Be prepared.
10. Do NOT think that if you give someone a mean funny nickname in English they will never figure out what you said.
11. Do NOT assume your international phone card will actually work.
12. Do NOT assume the tea your host mother is giving you to help you adjust to the altitude is without mind-altering properties in high volume.
13. Do NOT assume the cute wedges you had to bring will work on the cobblestones.
14. Do NOT assume your rolling suitcase will also work on the cobblestones.
don’t except these to work on cobblestones, either. but aren’t the cobblestones cute?
15. Do NOT think the cute little boys running at you with a bucket of water shouting (in Carnivale season) are not going to douse you in water because you’re a foreigner. They will. With glee.
16. Do NOT assume everyone you are with is carefully reading the signs like you are. You may accidentally leave them on the subway when you get off (at the right stop).
17. Do NOT assume everything with “ice cream” in the title will be delicious. There are lots of different kinds of milk out there, my friends. Like yak milk.
18. Do NOT assume you won’t get lost on a tiny island so it’s “okay not to pay attention” to where people are leading you. At some point, you will need to get back on your own, and you will get lost, no matter how tiny, because suddenly everything looks totally familiar and yet unfamiliar at the same time.
19. Do NOT think that Couchsurfing is always a good idea. If you try it in Cambodia, and you sleep on a mat surrounded by dead bugs and shower with a cockroach, you have been warned. Free is not always best!
20. Do NOT try Indian food for the first time in Cambodia.
actually, you probably should, because this still makes me laugh. (sorry, cuz!)
22. When someone on the street begins to dress you up, laugh loudly, and take pictures, expect them to ask you money for this experience.
don’t ask if I paid for this, please.
23. BEWARE of the beautiful macro-shot of that amazing flower. Things, like bugs, live in those, and are just waiting to come at you.
thankfully, a thing-free flower.
This is letter H for the A to Z Blogging Challenge. Whew, almost halfway through! Let me know what you think so far 🙂
I love this list! Oh the things we learn while abroad…often I feel like the “what not to do” lessons can be more frequent than the “what to do”! This list made me smile! Thanks for a fabulous post!
Thanks for reading friend! Glad you stopped by 🙂 I think travel IS more about what not to do sometimes…but as long as you learn your lesson for next time, it can make a good story at least haha. hope you are well!!
Cobblestones and rolling suitcases so do not work!
Haha nope they do not!
A lot of these really made me chuckle. (in approval) 😉 x
thanks! 🙂 and thanks for stopping by!
Great post today – very funny but also sadly a reminder of all these we have done. Those cobblestones are tricky even with runners on, I don’t know how Italian ladies walk around in stilettos all the time
I know! How do they do it? And hey, hopefully we learn from these things we do, right? 🙂
Amy, Hilarious! Love it! Yes, we’ve experienced many of these things…that’s why we travel, right?
Yes it is 🙂
This was hilarious and so true although I haven’t been to all the places you have I would remember these pointers!
These are definitely lessons that will stick with me 🙂
This was a fantastic list of tips! haha good job!